The Hayaa Oasis

Aren’t you afraid of being the person who pushes someone away from practicing Islam because you insist on making what may very well be sunnah or not at all part of being a Muslim something that must be practiced (fardh)?

Weekly Writes written by Umm Idris. 08.08.25, 12:00pm.

Recently, I came across a reel on my Instagram discussing the increasing difficulties of practicing Islam has been, where other Muslims make it harder for each other to enjoy and reap the benefits of living as a Muslim. This lady was sharing about how she heard tales of women being forced to wear hijabs and niqabs amongst their own mahrams, and stories of how cultures have superseded religion as well. It made me reflect on my own past experiences and realizing just how poisonous the seed has rooted itself into communities today.

Culture has become a slow poison to the practice and lifestyle of Muslims. What used to be encouraged as a greeting amongst Muslims as sunnah and not punished as a sin, is now an offense if one does not greet a specific way or rush immediate to say “assalamu’alaikum” before a mandatory hugging and kissing the other (hands, feet, cheeks, etc). Where hijab is not fardh, it is made a necessity against Muslimahs and cause them heavy discomfort in their daily lives and resentment against their practice of veiling for the sake of Allah (subhana wa ta’ala). Where a daughter-in-law does not have to obey her parent-in-laws in perpetuity and serve them like maids as ordered by their husbands, is now used as a weapon against them, like a divorce bullet in the chamber of a gun waiting to go off at the sight of refusal. When parents use their responsibilities of raising and financially investing in the caregiving of their children against those same children as adults to force their hands into giving exorbitant amounts of money to them. The same dollars that were once set aside to care for their own children now taken away by the parents who do not need the excess money, much like taking away the food off their own grandchildren off the table for themselves.

It angers me when people use the Quran and the sunnah of the Prophet (salallahu ‘alaihi wassalam) to oppress or even overcome others for their own luxurious gains, hierarchical satisfactions, and ego boost. You see, when you make what is sunnah something fardh or create new practices entirely, or impose heavy demands of culture over others that do not exist in the fold of Islam, you are not only engaging in bid’ah but putting others off of practicing Islam and being a Muslim. Not only that, the lines start to blur between what is Islamic and what is not, and this… this only creates an eventual worldwide confusion of misconceptions you see and hear today with so many sheikhs, imams and muftis answering the strangest of questions that you can only assume came from wrong enforcement of fiqh or unqualified preachers/educators who have NO place giving out fatwas or being involved in dakwah where they themselves are unsure of what they are talking about.

I myself claim to be no one qualified to answer fiqh questions or discuss shariah laws. With the exception of the clear undisputed Islamic knowledge, practices and laws, where one is unsure, one must leave it out of fear of misleading others or causing harm. But why do we not have this level of reservation amongst many in the ummah today? Is it ignorance of the severity of misleading the masses or pure lack of knowledge that has become a cycle in some generations? Or is it perhaps the long-term repercussion of enabling those who skew certain beliefs or practices to favor them over others?

What frustrates me is that when people utilize religion to benefit them first, they eventually cross blurry lines and inevitably oppress others or trample on their rights. It scares me that this does not strike any kind of unnerve nor heightened fear at the thought of Allah (subhana wa ta’ala)’s wrath for such a sin. Much of these issues have long been highlighted in talks, seminars, even question/answer sessions with qualified scholars and those who are certified to provide fatwas and yet, it continues to run rampant worldwide. Let’s be honest with ourselves. I am incredibly confident that you have heard or met someone who experienced such issues at least once in your lifetime. Back in the days where I used to work with clienteles who would sit for hours and interact with me or hold long conversations with me, I recall listening to the woes of so many women who lament about social issues that – upon reflecting – could have easily been rectified had the people involved (including themselves) adhered to the Islamic lifestyle that has been guided and gifted to them. Stories of in-laws or even their own parents overstepping boundaries and rights of themselves and/or their spouses. Tales of betrayal, lies, deceit, zina, financial issues, and so much more. The worst part about having to be the listening ear to these women is the frustration of not being able to say what is truly on my mind:

“KNOW. YOUR. ISLAM. AND. YOUR. RIGHTS. AS. A. MUSLIMAH. AND. THE. ROLES. YOU. CARRY.”

While it is easy to say on paper or rather… typing here, it is not so easy to stand firm or push back when dealing with those who manipulate religion to gain status, control, and/or power. In doing so, they make your Islam difficult for you by putting you through a certain level of unnecessary discomfort and inconvenience trying to regain stability and peace in your life. For example… the shaming of not practicing certain sunnah acts of worship like voluntary prayers and fasts or even demanding the use of the niqab against a woman whose madhab does not consider this fardh. Imagine being the person who causes another Muslim so much discomfort and pressure that they become put off from practicing certain good deeds, lose their pure niyyah for it or worse… practicing entirely.

I have had my fair share of such persons over my short years of living and what I can tell you is… they certainly did put me off doing certain good deeds that would have otherwise been something I would grow to make a consistent habit and a genuine one at that. Unfortunately, the approach that they had was that of heavy shaming, rage, and a lot of berating that landed me in a position where I was so put off, I could almost feel my body be repulsed at the thought of following/abiding the demands they put forward. That is the danger of wrongful method of correction over something that is not severe or even fardh. While it was good to be given constructive criticism, the constant beratement and hostility for falling short only cemented a person’s heart against being genuine in their actions in the future because all they remember is how nasty it was having to deal with you for not meeting your standards of ibadah. So, let us take a pause and contemplate our choice to correct someone or to insist upon someone when it comes to matters of the religion. If it is not fardh, do not demand or push aggressively for it until someone becomes resentful of doing so. Let the sunnah remain beloved and call a person to do so with excitement and love rather than fear or force. If it is not even within the fold of Islam, then fear Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) and stop creating unnecessary difficulties in an unsuspecting honest Muslim’s life and do what is valid and not of your own innovations. Unless it is a grave sin, there shouldn’t be a moment in time where you become the very reason a person tastes bitterness in the waters that should otherwise quench their souls.